healfrmdepress

Have you ever heard of the term ruminating? It is something that a cow does when it chews its foods over and over again. Even though we depressives are not cows, we tend to do the same thing with our thoughts and chew on them. And these thoughts tend to be negative.

For example, have you ever caught yourself going over same thought over and over again. Perhaps it was the breakup of your marriage, or another major loss. Perhaps it was a bad decision you made about your career or an investment that went south. Ruminating over and over again reinforces the same sad feelings and digs you deeper and deeper into a ditch that it is hard to get out of.

If you find yourself excessively I have good news. There is a simple two=step process that you can use to break the habit that I am going to share with you. It comes from a book “The Depression Cure” written by Stephen Illardi.

Step 1 is learn to notice when you are ruminating. Increasing your awareness of rumination begins by checking in with yourself every hour or to monitor your thoughts and see what you have been paying attention to. You can do this by setting a timer on your smart phone or one in the house to ring once an hour, and then make a note of what you are thinking about on a 1-10 scale. For example, if you spent 50 minutes in lying in bed, you would rate your rumination an 8 out of 10, while having tea with a friend would score as a 3 out of 10.

This leads us to step two, which is based on a simple but powerful fact—that people tend ruminate and feel the worst when they have nothing else to occupy their attention.

The antidote to this is to redirect your attention and turn away from the inner world of thought and memories to the outer world of other people and activities. Simply put this means less thinking and more doing. And the best activities are those that involve other people, For there is something about the presence of another person that makes us less likely to turn inward.

Now we can see why the depressed person’s tendency to isolate and withdraw–is so counterproductive. Because not having people to connect to amplifies the rumination process, and in turn makes the depression worse.

Activities with other people could involve walking with a friend, seeing a movie, going on a bile ride, etc.  Other ways of turning your attention outward include listening to music or books on tape, watching videos, or playing with children.

Distraction such as these can be very helpful.  As long as you don’t overdue them. 

In this blog, I would like to explore four myths or misperceptions about mental illness that I have encountered.

Myth #1: There’s no such thing…It’s all in your head. Some question whether mental illnesses really exist, perhaps because the exact biological causes of these illness have not not been identified. But we don’t know the exact biological cause of most headaches either—that doesn’t mean that headaches don’t exist. If people believe that a mental illness not real, then they will tell you to snap out of it. This is hurtful because the implication is that you are weak, or have a defect in character, or are faking symptoms to get attention. The fact is that these illnesses are not much different than so called physical illnesses.They both have symptoms with a typical course and outcome, they often run in families and they do respond to specific treatments. Depression, anxiety, psychosis–all the psychiatric disorders are real illnesses, every bit as real as any other illness.

Myth #2: Mental Illness is Rare. Because of the stigma that been associated with mental illness, few people discuss their symptoms openly with family and friends. But in 1999 the Surgeon General of the US. published a report on the nations mental health which stated that nearly half of ALL adult Americans-have had symptoms of mental illness at one time or another, and about one in four are in counseling, or using medication in any given year. You are not alone.

Myth #3: If you have a mental illness, you must be crazy, lazy or dangerous. Mental illness is rarely discussed in the media and when it is, it is only the mostly dramatic and violent cases. So it is easy to think that all people with mental illness are crazy or dangerous. The fact is that the vast majority of those who suffer from a mental illness are no more dangerous than you or I. The people I met during my recent stay in a psychiatric ward and in my current outpatient day treatment program are just like me. Thus, there is no shame in suffering from the symptoms of a mental illness, such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks or bipolar disorder.

Myth #4: Psychiatric diagnoses are unreliable and suspect. Let me begin by saying that the purpose of a mental health diagnosis is not to label a person but to find the right treatment. The reliability of psychiatric diagnoses is no better or worse than the reliability of other medical diagnoses. Often, people struggling with severe symptoms have difficulty expressing the entirety of their experience, or they are embarrassed and fearful about opening up about their symptoms. They also may have dramatically different internal experiences at different times, and so the diagnosis that a clinician records may vary from one episode to another or even from one clinician to another. For example, during my breakdowns of 1996 and 2015, two competent psychiatrists differed in my diagnosis, one saying it was agitated depression and that I should take antidepressants and the other saying it was bipolar 2 and I should take mood stabilizers. There is a fine line between these two diagnoses, and so the difference of opinion can be expected.

The purpose of this blog is to provide an account of what it means to be hospitalized in a psychiatric ward through sharing my stay in a mental hospital. If some readers are considering hospitalization for themselves or a loved one, I hope that this report can give you an objective account of the hospital experience. I will making a separate video about my ECT experience that I will post shortly after this one.

In January of 2016, after experiencing a year of clinical depression, I voluntarily checked myself into a psychiatric ward at St. Vincent’s hospital in Portland, Oregon. What was a typical day inside a psychiatric ward like? The day began at 7:45 am, when a voice on the PA system announced, “It’s time for breakfast.” Not being a morning person, I would stumble into the day room to join the other patients. For me, breakfast consisted of yogurt, oatmeal or cream of wheat, and scrambled eggs. I don’t understand how, but the hospital made scrambled eggs taste like mud. The eggs didn’t even look real. Unfortunately, a simple hard boiled egg was not on the menu and thus could not be ordered. Lunch and dinner were no different, with overcooked vegetables and overdone chicken or salmon. This was true hospital food, in every sense of the word.

After breakfast the day began. The day consisted of a series of groups that went from 9 am to 9pm, with titles such as mindfulness, coping skills,distress tolerance, emotional regulation, self-empowerment, recovery tips (for alcoholics and addicts), and my favorite by far—art therapy. While I found most of the groups boring, with art therapy I could work with my hands and produce something tangible. .

Aside from the poor food, another limitation of being in the psych ward was the lack of exercise. There was no gym—only a decrepit stationary bike that I could only ride for fifteen minutes. Neither could I go outside and exercise. Being that this was a locked ward, one had to stay inside. If you were put on a special list, one of the staff could take you outside to a confined space with a rock garden, but only for ten to fifteen minutes. This is more confining than jail, as many prisoners spend far more than ten minutes exercising in the yard. There was one important difference however—anytime I wanted, I could sign out of the hospital, since I had entered the hospital on a voluntary basis.

Another thing that drove me crazy about being in the unit was the overhead lighting. Evidently there was a ban on regular lamps because the staff thought that patients might use the chords to strangle themselves. This “no strangle zone” extended itself to cell phone charger cords. Thus whenever my phone battery was low, I had to bring it to the nurses station where one of the staff would take it to a special room and plug it into an iPhone charging cord, now known as #538 (based on my room number)

On the other had, there were some positive things about being in the hospital. The other patients, who suffered from the same maladies as myself, were generally approachable and kind. I made two friends on the ward.

In addition, the staff were gentle, compassionate and helped to create a feeling of safety. They were the complete opposite of big nurse from the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Whenever I needed special attention, they were there to support me.

Finally, a blessing I received from my hospitalization was all the people who came to visit me. I had a total of twenty-six visitors, and many came multiple times. This reminded of the film “It’s a wonderful life” when Jimmy Stewart’s friends showed up at his house and donated money to help him repay an 8,000 debt. My visitors made me appreciate that I was very much loved, an antidote to the thoughts of suicide that continually flooded my mind. If I hurt myself, I would bring pain to my visitors and many other people.

I was discharged from the hospital on January 30, 2016. In the following days, I noticed that my mood had improved and that my anxiety had gone away. This was probably due to the eight ECT treatments I received during my stay. I will discuss these treatments and how they helped me in another post. For now, I can say that my stay in the mental hospital was successful.

One of the most powerful ways to impact your emotions and improve your mood is through the breath. In Sanskrit the word for breath is prana, which also means “life” or “spirit.” This is because the oxygen we inhale is necessary for the functioning of every cell in our body. We can live weeks without food, days without water, but only minutes without air.

How we breathe both reflects and influences the state of our nervous system. For example, when we become anxious or fearful, we tend to breathe shallowly and rapidly. This rapid breathing is usually accompanied by racing thoughts and out-of-control worries. An effective way to lessen these thoughts is to breathe more slowly and deeply. As you slow down your breathing, three things will occur:

1) Your thoughts will slow down and diminish.
2) You mind will feel calm.
3) Your body will feel more relaxed.

During this process, it may also help to hold yourself—placing one hand on your belly and another on your heart as you breathe. Experiment with finding a physical posture that feels soothing and nurturing. Breathing deeply not only alleviates anxiety, it can increase our energy, vitality, and mental focus. One way to accomplish this is through abdominal breathing (also called diaphragmatic breathing). This type of breathing is widely taught in yoga classes, so you may be aware of it. The process involves using your entire chest and abdominal cavity to breathe. Here is a brief description of the process which you can try right now.

Sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight (you can also do this lying on your back). Place both hands on your abdomen, right beneath your rib cage, with the fingers of the hands each spread out and just touching each other. Now inhale slowly and deeply, pushing the air downward towards your tummy. As the belly fills with air and expands, you should notice that the fingers of your two hands slowly move apart.

When you have taken a full breath, pause momentarily and exhale slowly through your nose or mouth. As you do so, you will see your abdomen deflating, much like a balloon that is letting its air out. Allow your body to go limp as you watch the hands on your abdomen slowly return to their original position. Your fingers should now be touching again.

Try repeating this eight to ten times, breathing deeply and slowly without gulping in air or letting it all out at once. You may wish to count to four on the inhale and eight on the exhale, or whatever rhythm works best for you.

I encourage you to practice abdominal breathing. You can take a time out in the middle of busy day to observe your breath, or refresh yourself when you are overly tired.

There are many ways to heal from depression. Sigmund Freud, once defined mental health as “the ability to work and to love.” On this web page I want about how employment can helps us to heal from depression.

Work is therapeutic for at least three reasons.

First it gives us financial independence

Second it provide us with a sense of identity.

And third, working draws us outside of ourselves and brings us into contact with other people.

Volunteer work provides many of the same benefits as paid work, and can be a helpful way to get back into the workforce.

     Work issues are prominent in the depression support groups I run. Prior to joining the groups, many of my clients had been forced them to leave their jobs or careers because of their depression and anxiety. These have included an engineer, doctor, nurse, teacher and the head of a non profit foundation.

As they have healed, their desire to work has reemerged, and returning to work has constituted a huge turning point in their recovery. As one client recently told the group, “The most important factor in my recovery has been being able to return to work!”

Conversely, I have seen depression brought on by problems with work. These include:

1) a person’s lack of employment.

2) being involved in soulless work that does not express a genuine passion.

3) having a high-stress (and sometimes abusive) jobs that “drives one crazy.” To leave the job, however, would mean replacing job stress with financial stress.

     The ideal way to resolve such a dilemma is through the practice of “Right Livelihood,” which originated as an aspect of the Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path to enlightenment. To practice Right Livelihood means working at something that is beneficial to humans, animals, plants and the earth–or at least minimally harmful. It is an expression of your deepest self that does the following:

• Produces something of personal value to others.
• Gives you a fair return, providing for your needs but not your greed.
• Gives you a sense of being a valued part of your community.
• Provides intrinsic satisfaction.
• Gives expression to your deepest values.

    Clearly, the passion and joy that one would experience when we find our Right Livelihood are wonderful antidotes to depression as well as blessing for the entire planet. But even if you don’t have the perfect job, the fact that you are working (unless it is overly stressful) will contribute to your mental health.